How To Save A Life
by KristenGall1998
Summary: This is for Carrie. Lana is seventeen and struggling. What will it take for her to realize that she has people who care about her? Namely, Artie Abrams. Set in the beginning of season three. TRIGGER WARNING (CUTTING). Two-Shot.
1. One

**This is for Carrie. I love you, beautiful. Be strong. **

**-KristenGall1998**

**Slight trigger warning for cutting and suicide attempts. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters or song lyrics. **

**Lana's POV**

I'm tired, more so than usual. I had another fight with my mom again last night. She says that I'm just doing all of this, cutting, complaining, to get attention. That is so far from true. It's the only thing that will make me feel better. People try to tell me to stay strong, keep fighting, that I'm beautiful. I've heard it so many times over the last few days. I'm getting sick of it. It's now September, school will be starting soon, in a few days actually. And on top of that, it's so freaking hot out there. I don't really do much, just sit around on Twitter. My long sleeve t-shirts are getting really warm for the summer. Hopefully when school rolls around the weather will improve so that people don't wonder why I'm wearing long sleeves. Most of them know. I'm going into senior year and I hope that I can get well enough to at least enjoy some of it with my friends. Maybe we'll win Nationals this year. That'd be cool, awesome, really. Maybe we wouldn't be at the bottom of the slushie food chain.

It doesn't really help me with the way I look. I'm kind of tiny; I have a very round face, and long, straight, brown hair. I have pimples all over my face, and my eyes are quite small. I'm short and a bit chubby, but some of my few friends think I'm cute. I guess I kind of am, I mean, I'm small with a round face. That's _got _to be adorable, right?

* * *

I survived. The first day of senior year. Now the only thing left to do today is get through Glee rehearsal. I know I won't be bothered about my scars or anything there. I'm starting to get really insanely hot, so I roll my sleeves up just a bit to cool off. Despite wearing shorts, I'm still sweating a bit. This school is so crammed between classes and no air conditioning means it's pretty humid, too. When I put my stuff in my locker and grab my Glee folder, Artie rolls up to me.

"Hey Lana. Have a good summer?" He asks, smiling at me. I like Artie. He's really sweet and genuinely nice. I think he might actually care about me; he might be the only one.

"Yeah, it was great," I lie. I can't tell him about how I fought with my mom or was ignored by my dad or how I cut myself almost every day. He'd be so ashamed to be friends with me. I guess I can call him that. He seems to treat me like a normal person. "How was yours?"

"It was good. Walk with me?" I nod and we head off to the choir room together in silence. When we get there Mike, Puck, and Tina are the only ones in the room. They say hello to me and I nod and give a smile in return. Mike and Puck return to the conversation that they must've been having before we walked in. Tina turns to Artie and I as we take our seats.

"Have a good summer, Lana?" Tina asks us, and I nod again, not feeling like elaborating. Then she turns to Artie, who is in his chair on the floor while we are on the first riser. "What about you, Artie?"

"Oh, yeah. It was good. My mom took me to my aunt's cabin and it was fun." He replies. I start to wonder how it was fun with Artie in a wheelchair and am about to ask but Artie continues talking.

"One of my distant cousins is also in a chair and we went to this big amusement park for handicapable people." He explains, nodding and smiling. At this point, Mercedes and Kurt waltz into the room, arms linked together, talking to each other. Santana and Brittany are right behind them and they all come over to the seats and sit, no one really saying anything. We sit in silence for about a minute before Mr. Shue comes in.

"Has anyone seen Rachel and Finn?" He asks, turning to us. Most of us nod our heads no, but Kurt speaks up.

"They were macking on each other at Rachel's locker when I grabbed my books. They should be here soon." Kurt answers with a roll of his eyes.

"Uh, okay then." Mr. Shue says uncertainly.

"It's okay everyone, I'm here!" Rachel suddenly says, sort of skipping from the doorway to her seat, Finn only a step behind her.

"Sorry we're late. We got a bit… Distracted." Finn directs to Mr. Shue, earning an eye roll from Santana. Rachel and Finn take their seats and Mr. Shue starts talking.

"All right, so, here's what twelfth place looks like, guys. It's not satisfying." He holds up the small trophy from Nationals. "So we're going to do better this year. But, today I think we need to unwind a bit, huh? Maybe just sing for a bit?" This earns a cheer from most of the New Directions, except for Rachel.

"Wait, Mr. Shue. Shouldn't we be figuring out what we are doing at Sectionals before we waste time?"

"Rachel, we can take one day. Sometimes you need to have fun to get to the really important stuff. So, favorite summer songs, anybody?" He turns his attention to the rest of the club, and Puck's hand immediately goes up. "Puck, go for it." Puck stands up and performs his own rendition of "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars, Mike and Finn joining in later in the song. When he finishes the club claps and Puck, Mike, and Finn sit down. Mr. Shue asks if anyone else has any favorite summer songs. Santana whispers something in Brittany's ear and Brittany nods, and then the two of them stand and take the floor. They then double up on Brittney Spears' "I Wanna Go."

When Santana and Brittany finish their song, everyone, including Rachel, is up and dancing. Mr. Shue then turns to me and asks if I have anything. I look to Rachel who is now standing next to me and ask her if she'll perform Adele's "Rolling in the Deep" with me. She nods and I tell Mr. Shue that Rachel would sing something with me. We start the song and before we even hit the chorus Rachel and I have managed to drag Mercedes and Santana onto the floor to sing with us. Everyone claps when we finish. Mr. Shue starts talking again and before we know it, Glee is over for the day and everyone goes his or her separate ways to head home.

I stop at my locker to get my books and homework before I head out to my bus. On the way out, people keep yelling at me and calling me a freak. I forgot to roll my sleeves down after Glee. _Shit. _I hastily pull them down but it's too late. Now they all have another reason to make fun of me. I pull my phone out of my backpack and stick my headphones in my ears as I speed-walk to the bus. I take my normal seat on the right side of the bus and we start moving. Unfortunately for me, my headphones suck and I can hear all of the insults thrown my way from all the cheerleaders and jocks. Quinn is the only other Glee club member on my bus route and she has her own car so she drives to and from school. Thankfully, I am one of the first few off the bus but by the time we make it to my house I'm nearly in tears. To make matters worse, my mom is waiting for me when I get home. She tells me how worthless and horrible I am, and yells to me how ugly and undeserving I am. I brush it off, being used to taking her crap. When she finishes, I run up to my room with all of my stuff and start on my homework. I work for about two hours before it's finished.

Before I go to bed, I open my laptop to type up my essay for Mr. Weston's English class. I stupidly open my emails, though, and see more than fifty emails notifying me of people cyber-bullying me on Facebook and a few from Twitter. That sends me over the edge. From the bullying, Mom yelling at me, and then being told that I'm fat and that no one will ever love me or my scars on Facebook, I can't stand it anymore. My life already sucked and now I feel even worse about myself. I dig one of my blades out of the drawer in the stand next to my bed, already sobbing from the emails. _They're right. I am worthless. No one will ever love me. I'm fat and ugly. I should do the world a favor. _I run into the bathroom and grab a pill bottle from the cabinet. I swallow a handful of them, then I sit against the door and start dragging the blade across my arms and stomach. _Relief._

* * *

**Artie's POV (Next Day)**

It's almost time for Glee club. The day went by pretty slowly without Lana here. I'm really worried about her. I've texted her and tried calling her but there was no answer. Hopefully Mr. Shue will know something. I know Lana struggles with depression and I know she cuts but it's not as bad as it looks. It can't. I mean, _this is Lana_ that we're thinking about here, she's funny, bubbly, smiles all the time. She probably just has the flu. I sit through the rest of calculus wondering why Lana hasn't texted me back yet and before I know it, the bell is ringing and I'm packing up my stuff into my backpack. I roll into the hallway and about halfway to my locker, Finn comes up behind me and starts pushing me.

"Locker?" He asks.

"Yup. Thanks." I reply, lifting my arms from the sides of my chair.

"Have you heard from Lana? I'm kinda worried about her."

"No I haven't. I'm kinda worried too. She usually texts me if she's gonna be staying home or not at school." We take the rest of the journey to my locker and then to the choir room in silence. Finn parks me in my usual spot and goes to his chair by Rachel. We must've been the last ones to arrive because Mr. Shue comes out of his office and starts talking. He only says a brief greeting before Brittany speaks up.

"Mr. Shue? Where's Lana?" She asks, concern written on her face.

"I was just getting to that. She's not here today, as you've all noticed. She, uh, won't be back for a few days."

"Why not?" This was Finn.

"She's in the hospital. She-," Mr. Shue was trying to explain, but again he was interrupted.

"Hospital?!" Mercedes exclaimed.

"Why? What happened?" Tina asked, impatiently.

"She tried to kill herself last night." That pretty much stunned everyone into silence. I blinked my eyes shut tight. Everyone else just gave Mr. Shue blank stares. I should've known. She was really quiet yesterday, and I'm sure I saw scars on her arms. I should've asked her about them. And now she's in the hospital, and it was all my fault. When I had finally gathered my emotions, I could only think one thing: _I need to see her._

"Which hospital?" I asked, fully intent on calling Mom to get her to take me there, now. Then I remembered Lima only has one hospital. "Never mind." I wheeled out of the room, Finn hot on my wheels, the majority of the Glee club right behind him. Mr. Shue didn't even try to stop us. I'm surprised he didn't follow us. He probably would've been yelled at by Figgins if he had. Puck stopped to grab his guitar on the way out, I noticed. _Good. I've got an idea._ Wordlessly, we all clambered into Finn's truck, Quinn and Mercedes' cars. The guys all in Finn's truck my wheelchair in the back. Quinn, Santana, and Brittany were all in Quinn's car, and Rachel, Tina, Kurt and Mercedes were all in the other car. The drive to the hospital was relatively short, ten minutes or so. We got there and Puck and Finn helped me back into my chair. The mob of us all somewhat marched the door and up to the desk. I asked for Lana's room and the nurse behind the desk directed us to it, not bothering to ask if we were family.

"She needs visitors. Go right on up." She explained. When we got there, I knocked on the door, not bothering to wait for an answer to go in. Lana was laying on the bed on her side, faced the other way.

"Lana?" I spoke out. "It's Artie. The whole Glee club is here. The nurse said you needed some visitors."

"Go away, please." She asked politely. I could hear the tears in her voice.

* * *

**Part Two will be up very shorty. Please don't do anything brash or harsh.**

**Be Strong. **


	2. Two

******I don't own any recognizable characters or song lyrics. **

* * *

_**Lana'a POV**_

I hear a knock on the door. I really don't want any visitors. I just want to be alone. My parents dropped me off last night after they found me in the bathroom. They signed a couple papers and left. They haven't been back since, and I've been glad. I just want to be alone to wallow in my self-pity. When Artie come in and tells me the _whole _Glee club is here, I _almost_ start tearing up. They shouldn't be wasting their time here. I'm not worth it.

"Lana, please. Look at me." Artie asks. When I don't move, he walks around the bed to look me in the eye. I must have a really sad look on my face because he frowns. He looks to the rest of the club and nods. I hear someone put something down and a few snaps get undone. Then I hear an acoustic guitar. _Puck brought his guitar. That's nice._ He starts playing familiar chords to a familiar song. It doesn't take me long to realize that it's _How To Save a Life _by The Fray. Artie starts singing.

_**Step one, you say,**_

"_**We need to talk,"**_

_**He walks, you say,**_

"_**Sit down, it's just a talk." **_

_**He smiles politely back at you. **_

_**You stare politely right on through.**_

Finn starts singing and Artie stops, that's when I notice the rest of my visitors have moved around, spread out around the bed. I straighten out, sitting up now. I put my arms under the sheets so that it isn't so easy to notice that they're bandaged.

_**Some sort of window to your right, **_

_**As he goes left and you stay right.**_

_**Between the lines of fear and blame, **_

_**You begin to wonder why you came.**_

Artie joins in again and now so do Santana and Quinn creating a bit of a harmony. It sounds _really_ good.

_**Where did I go wrong? **_

_**I lost a friend. **_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness, **_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night, **_

_**Had I known How To Save A Life.**_

Now Tina and Mercedes are singing the lyrics. It's becoming harder for me to not cry or laugh or something. My eyes start stinging and I know it won't be long before I start crying.

_**Let him know that you know best, **_

'_**Cause after all, you do know best. **_

_**Try to slip past his defense, **_

_**Without granting innocence.**_

_**Lay down a list of what is wrong, **_

_**The things you've told him all along. **_

_**And pray to God he hears you. **_

_**And pray to God he hears you.**_

As the second chorus hits, Kurt starts singing solo, and now I can't help it. I start sobbing into my hands, suddenly not caring that everyone will see the bandages wrapped carefully around my wrists.

_**And where did I go wrong? **_

_**I lost a friend. **_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness, **_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night,**_

_**Had I known How To Save A Life.**_

Finn starts singing now, with Rachel. I'd never really listened to Rachel sing with

him before, but now I can't help but realize that they sound fantastic together. I'm still crying, sobbing into my hands. Mike approaches me and whispers for me to scoot over. I do, and he walks around to the other side of the bed where Artie and Finn are currently placed.

_**As he begins to raise his voice, **_

_**You lower yours and grant him one last choice.**_

Finn stops singing long enough to help Mike lift Artie into the bed with me, and Artie pulls me close and lets me sob on his shoulder. It feels much better to be embracing him, proving to me that I have a support system, no matter what I think.

_**Drive until you lose the road, **_

_**Or break with the ones you've followed.**_

Finn rejoins Rachel with the lyrics, and I slowly start to calm down, Artie by my side, holding me while I break down, right there in front of the entire Glee club.

_**He will do one of two things: **_

_**He will admit to everything, **_

_**Or he'll say he's just not the same. **_

And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Now Kurt, Artie and Puck take this chorus, and Artie is more or less just mumbling it into my ear. It feels good, the vibrations of his vocal chords against my face. It's very calming.

_**Where did I go wrong?**_

_**I lost a friend.**_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness, **_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night, **_

_**Had I known How To Save A Life.**_

The entire club joins in on this remainder of the song, and my lip starts quivering again as I see all the worried, sincere looks on their faces. They all look so scared. I hate that their obviously worried about me but it makes me feel good to know that they care so much. I look a bit past Quinn, who is at the end of my bed, and notice that school hasn't ended yet and they should all be in Glee rehearsal. That explains how they knew to come here and how they all came at once.

_**Where did I go wrong? **_

_**I lost a friend. **_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness, **_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night, **_

_**Had I known How To Save A Life.**_

_**How To Save A Life.**_

_**How To Save A Life.**_

Now I'm full-on sobbing again, and this time Tina walks over to the side of the bed opposite Artie and pulls me into a hug. The rest of the club follows as the song finishes, Finn last. I hold onto Finn for a second longer and mumble a thank-you into his ear.

_**Where did I go wrong?**_

_**I lost a friend. **_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness,**_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night, **_

_**Had I known How To Save A Life.**_

_**Where did I go wrong? **_

_**I lost a friend. **_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness, **_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night,**_

_**Had I known How To Save A Life.**_

Knowing the song by heart, I finish off the last two lines of it, really understanding what they all meant with the words. Maybe, just maybe, they care enough about me.

_**How To Save A Life. **_

_**How To Save A Life.**_

Puck stops strumming on his guitar and puts in down, and everyone is silent for a few minutes, until Kurt speaks up.

"What- Why? Did you honestly think no one cares about you?" He looks so scared. And genuinely worried. It's been _so_ long since someone has looked at me like that.

"I don't-, I felt like no one cared about me. Like no one would miss me." I said, looking at the sheets.

"Lana, do you even know how wrong you are?" This came from Rachel, surprisingly. "We all care about you. Even _I_ skipped Glee rehearsal to come to see you. _You_, someone I am so proud to call a friend." She came around to the side of the bed opposite Artie and grabbed my hand.

"And do you even know how scared Artie looked when Shue told us you were here?" Santana said to me, probably the most sincere thing she's ever said to me since I met her.

"Never mind Artie, I think we all panicked a little." Quinn spoke up, looking directly at my eyes. She still had a bit of panic in her eyes.

"The thing is, Lana, that you _matter_ to all of us. We _care_ about you." Mercedes desperately tells me, I can see that she's trying to not freak out. The rest of the New Directions agree, nodding and mumbling. Artie turns his head to whisper something in my ear.

"Please never do that again."

"So, uh, why exactly are you still here?" Puck asked from his spot at the far corner of the bed. I was waiting for the time when I'd have to tell them I swallowed a bottle of pills and then slashed my wrists into tomorrow.

"I, uh. I swallowed a bunch of pills. They had to pump my stomach." I mumbled, very quietly. "And I needed some stitches." I can't look anyone in the eye anymore so I go back to staring at my feet under the sheets. No one says anything, I swear I could hear Artie's heart beating next to me. Though I can't see them, I can tell that they all have solemn, pitying expressions on their faces. I peek over to see Artie, his eyes are big and sad.

"Lana…" Finn starts, but he doesn't say anything else. I look up at him, a frown on my face. His mirrors mine, and now I notice everyone in the room looks just plain _sad. _

"Why? I need more of an explanation this time." Kurt says.

"I rolled my sleeves up yesterday, I was getting really hot. Everyone saw my scars. They were making fun of me, and when I got home, my mom yelled at me and told me how worthless I was and I had already felt horrible. Then, after I did my homework, I opened my emails and there were more than fifty of them from Facebook and Twitter- all of them hate mail and posts and Tweets. So I grabbed my blades and my pills and locked myself in the bathroom. I guess my parents found me an hour or so later and brought me here."

"Where are they now?" Puck asked.

"I don't know. I haven't seen them since my mom was yelling at me last night. I guess they dropped me off and left." I said to Puck, looking a bit past his head to stare at the wall, again not being able to meet his eyes.

"You should come live with me. If they—," Artie starts, but I cut him off this time.

"What!? I can't come live with you, Artie."

"Sure you can. There's an empty spare room upstairs. If your parents don't care enough to come visit you after a _suicide attempt_, then you sure as hell should not be living with them. I'm sure my mom will be fine with it. You can get a job to pay for your phone and stuff. My mom drives me to school every day, you could get a ride with me to avoid the bus, it would all work out." Artie finishes, stunning me, and everyone, into silence.

"I couldn't, Artie. I can't." I look at him, tears reappearing at the fact that he cares about me that much.

"I'll call my mom in a bit and see what she says. She'll love you." He pauses, clearly not wanting to finish but needing to. "Almost as much as I do."

{LINE BREAK}

Within a month, I was out of the hospital and moved in with Artie. I haven't cut or taken pills or anything. I am now thirty-six days clean and I feel a lot better. All of the New Directions came to visit me in the hospital every day during Glee rehearsal period and we all sang together. They proved to me that they all care,_ so much. _I now have eleven amazing friends. I feel loved and now, I know I'm not alone. It feels better. I still get down every once in a while, but Artie has been so _amazing._ He takes me out for dinner once a week, so I guess we're kind of dating. He, as well as the other New Directions, have shown me that it gets better, that I can be beautiful (Kurt and Rachel took me on a shopping spree and made me over), and that I am worth something. Artie's mom has been so nice and accepting of me. _All of me._ Which I didn't think was possible. I threw out my blades and pills three weeks ago.

The marks are still there. There are still scars. They will always be there. But I don't think of that as a bad thing. They are silent reminders of what I went through. They remind me every day that I made it through that, of how strong I am. I now have an emergency grouping of numbers in my phone, and if I ever feel like I need to make more marks, I text it and sometimes some of the New Directions come over, sometimes Artie just hugs me and lets me cry, sometimes Finn and Puck make jokes while Quinn and Rachel mercilessly curse at them. But it helps. I've used it three times so far. I haven't talked to or seen my parents and I'm okay with that. I've eaten properly. I've only taken pills when I had a serious headache or PMS. Everyone has helped me get through this, and I have never been more grateful and I have never seen so much promise in my life. I have hope.

* * *

**I hope this helps, Carrie. It was inspired by you. You are not worthless, hopeless,** **ugly, fat, a failure, none of that.**

**You are amazing, you show promise, you are beautiful, gorgeous, and so, so** **successful. You've made it this far. And I hope that in 100 days, you'll be** **100DaysClean. Thanks for reading. Be Strong. **

**-KristenGall1998**


End file.
